Almost five months of not being myself. At least not the one I used to know. I don't know why I got so far in this, but it's probably due to the fact that I fear regrets more than anything else in the world, and I was never a
"party-boy", so I gave it a shot. I can't say it was totally worth it. The only thing I can say is that somehow I
had to do it.
It's just that the idea that some people out there, in the real world, think of me (if-ever) as something I am not,
kind of upsets me, even though I'm the only person responsible for that. So how do I know who I really am? I take a look at myself in the mirror and then focus on the little things, the details.
Because it's on the details that we focus our attention, after all. Well, at least I do.
I know, it's a huge mistake, but I can't really blame myself. The great matters in life only seem to surface when
we already enjoyed everything else. I am very good at procrastinating and it seems a pretty common issue between human beings, especially when it comes to relationships.
It's just that the other way around doesn't really work, does it? We all are so fond of other people's details.
The way she dresses, the music she listens too, the way she eats or fixes her hair behind her ear. Then the big
arguments come along, but it's already too late. After you shared so much, it's time to simply agree on something or not.
More or less, it's the same with the relationship we have with ourselves. We take care of details, 'cause we know that other people will be looking for those, and sometimes we tend to forget (willingly or not) what we really enjoy.
Well, I can say I tried to forget myself, but in the end I kinda like the whole "thing", so now it's back-on-track,
I'm gonna choose the details I like in the first place.
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